-mj-<3 euu

Happy/ Sad

2011-12-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

Christmas just pass in just a blink of eye. :)

I told myself that I will attend church events.

But in the end I didn't, my laziness bring me down again.

Why is this so, I don't want God's to give up on me.

Me too need to be more eager towards God's.

Feelings piling inside me, don't know how to describe.

Happiness and sadness?

Mixtures of all emotions.

Hoping that one day those worries, emotions will settled down.

I didn't have a great Christmas this year,

But at least I'm being lucky that I got day off instead of working.

So I must grateful instead of complaining.

I will try to be good and go church every weekend.

Just every Sunday, I know.

God's please take away my laziness and give me wisdom.

Year 2012 is gonna be a good year for me. :)

I'm not gonna revert back to the old me.

No more HIGH HIGH MC Rate,

No more skipping church and laze at home,

No more sleeping over at bf house so often.

No more laziness,

No more dirtiness and messiness.

ETCETC.

Work hard to strive for good results in work or school.

I want a fresh new DIANA LIM.

If I want to be skinny, I will jolly well exercise.

If I want a nice teeth, I will jolly well cut down on sweet food.

I pray that I can do it !

AMEN !

Shall end here right now,

Gosh getting more n more naggy in post.

Bad bad day.

2011-12-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

Today is a bad bad day for me. :(

I'm being bully really bad again in my life.

My tooth broke yesterday night and my bracket dropped out.

Went to my dentist and she scolded and sarcastic me instead.

long long story, I decided to change dentist.

Not to stay on with this one any more.

She didn't detect my tooth decay and cause me to lose my tooth.

Yet she is the one scolding me.

I even reminded her 2 months ago that I'm having tooth ache,

MIGHT BE tooth decay, YET she says it's fine, it's al right.

Blame me for everything.

Am I her dog to be scolded every single time ?

I paid for her services and my teeth, not for her attitudes and scoldings.

She asked me to rush down to specialist, FINE, I went down in vain.

The tooth can't even be save, yet I spend $214 to try to save it.

When I can just extract it, to save half of my money.

Sighs, never mind, I accept it.

BUT, her attitude and scoldings I can't accept any more longer.

I always told myself, Lord, I want to be patience, BUT

she is just/really over my head.

Dear Lord, please help me !

I'm really helpless.

Seriously I do not know what to do, I'm not rich,

Yet I need to spend another 3-4k plus just to change a dentist everything.

Sighs,

I'm really in distress.

I wonder who can help me, but no one can help me except myself.

This is the road I choose.

:((

Lord,please talk to me, help me and guide me what to do.,

AMEN!

I really hope that my SNM will understand me for taking Emergency leave today.

I really took it because my tooth drop.

I guess I need to work longer and studies part time.

End here, Need to relax and rest !

byebye.

5 days off here I come after tomorrow !

Beautiful times. . .

2011-11-20T06:02:00.000-08:00

Hello all, I'm here once again ! :)

Realised that my blog is dull, bored and lifeless.

BUT, from next post onwards, I shall make more efforts.

To put photos of my life every time I blog.

Time flies, from childhood to school then to work.

I regret of not studying hard but no time for regrets,

I'm gonna retake the stupid "O" levels next year,

and I'm gonna really work hard and score.

Then proceed to poly but I need to think of a course.

Should I continue with nursing? :(

That's really a tough choice thou.

Today, many many thoughts occur in my mind.

Miss those times when I'm young because I don't need to think

of anything.

Miss schooling times, because we don't know and don't need to face

the working life and reality.

But, I do not miss work.

Suddenly realise that my parents are getting older and older.

Must be good to my mum already, hehe.

Because, I realised that she's the only one who will love me constantly.

Till old age, till I'm old too.

She's the only one who will always stand by me.

Who will always be there for me, whenever I need her.

To guide me what's wrong, what's right.

:))

I'm glad that God's gave me a good mother.

Thou she's strict since young but it's for my own good.

Now then I knew it.

Al right, shall stop all those emotional talks.

I will try to be more positive and responsible during work or life.

Ps: It's already been one year plus since we hold our hands.

Happy and unhappy moments,

Hope that we will both grow and change to even better person.

Hope that we will have no more quarrels and you will change you attitude of yours ! :)

Good night sweetie pie !

BAD DAY. . .

2011-11-14T02:15:00.000-08:00

Not a good day today.
Worse morning shift I ever had. :)
Before the start of the shift, quarrelled with him again.
Then I have no mood for work already.
Some more, work still got people nag and nag.
More worse, so my face don't look too happy today.
One of my colleague realise. . asked me..
& I told her e reason. :)

But, after all I decide work is work,
no choice have to just smile and fcuk e personal matters.
Talked with friends, and feel better.
Maybe I'm at fault, maybe I'm not.
I don't know.
God's will lead me to the answer.

I really feel bad deep inside that I have not be attending church,
have not been going cell group and praying.
External factors do affect me.
Need to change my laziness,
Need to be more independent.
& not to rely on others anymore.
Because nobody will be there for you forever.
:))

你也许没想过我的感受，
算了，可能你不爱我了。
你的家人不喜欢我，我也就算了。
不想再去想，会疯掉的。
你及时才会了解我的感受呢？

Lazy to nag and nag, goodbye.

2011-11-10T03:13:00.000-08:00

Its sunshine after the rain, finally.
I sorted it through these few days.
Quarrelled with my sisters, realised that I'm wrong.
Will stop disappointing them and change. :)
It's about my character also, I shall care more for friends,
family and boyfriend also.
Can't always think of myself.
Thanks YH for scolding me and loving me always !
Sorry to make u so disappointed and tear..

True friends indeed won't leave me no matter what.
They will always be there, no matter what you do.
Unless they are really disappointed.

Life is still going on as usual.
Busy working life, being lazy to work or go out.
Boring love life.
But I believe I have a good boyfriend.
If he's willing to change some of the things for me.
LOL.
Still love him a lot.

AND, christmas is coming soon !
JINGLE BELLS!
More than happy to celebrate this happy event.
:))

But a unhappy thing, my next upcoming 2 weeks roaster is so terrible.
Can't imagine how she planned her roaster.
Working 6 days straight is no joke.
:(
Hope I can tahan it !
Hate it hate it !
No choice this's work and life.

Okie, shall post more pictures if not my blog will look dead !
Loves peeps, Good night.

TIRING DAY.,

2011-11-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since my ward is full house.

But, these few days it had been almost full house.

Maybe it's just the season thingy.

Work has been tiring, I guess I been labelled MC queen, :p

Took just too many days.. Need to be a good nurse for

the rest of the year already. Can't afford to take anymore.

Just hope that the ward will be better and better.

Today is just not my day, that's all I can say.

Was piss off over something.

I know I don't have the right to get piss off or angry,

but it's just annoying when you know you will get something,

then in the end just didn't get it.

Because, the person just regret,

like wtf right.

That's my feeling.

But, to think of it now, I feel that it's ok.

I can earn it by myself and get a better one.

Sometimes I just feel that you just don't understand.

You only care about your family and not me.

You will never side me nor stand on my side.

Sometimes I just want you to stand by my side.

Sigh, feels so unhappy today.

good night everyone !

Bad Day.

2011-10-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

Today is just not the right day for me.
Today work is hectic because we only have 5 staffs
in total due to PH & one took MC.
But, everything is fine till one phone call. :(
I'm being deployed to other ward.
But, they don't really need staffs there so I ran up and down.
This made my mood go hay-wire.
Nevermind, then my patients are all so CMI.
But afterall I still prefer staying in my own ward.
Because it's my own comfort zone.
:))

Didn't went out with boy today because I'm quite tired.
Lucky I made the correct choice because it rain heavily.
And today boy was not driving.
:)
Smart girl ! LOL.
Receive a news today that my niece is admitted in KKH.
Shall visit her asap.
Hope that she's well, May God's bless her.
Amen !
Will update more tomorrow.
Good night peeps.

WTF DAY

2011-10-24T04:55:00.000-07:00

Finally today is my off day and yet I have to stay at home for whole day.

No plannings or nothing by him.

Great. Delay going out also by him.

Wonder what is he thinking anyway.

If you don't feel like going out with me can just say.

Don't need let me stay at home like an idiot.

Starting second night shift this week.

Pray hard that no admission and no crazy patients.

:(((

Having slight fever also, still need to travel home.

Feeling so awful.

But, nobody cares.

Surprisingly he can still play his game without even asking me down,

without even coming up to look at me for 2 hours.

Wow.

I think I die he also don't know.

Never mind, used to being alone anyway.

Work is like that, personal time also the same.

Shall get use to this kind of life sooner or later.

Feeling weak nowadays.

Do not know why.

Maybe God's is coming to get me soon?

Shall not vent anymore.

Good bye.

Tuesday Blues.

2011-10-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Gonna take AL today morning,hope I can take.

:((

Not feeling very good. Need a break.

I feel that I'm distancing from God's more and more.

I know what I'm doing is wrong.

I wanna go home, Lord.

I feels different when I didn't go church/cell group.

I lost the courage to go anymore.

Even my friends and leaders don't ask me that often anymore.

Because they know I won't attend.

Lord, give me strength, I wanna go home.

I don't wanna lost the way home.

I want to be by your side.

Don't know why, feels moody at times.

Need to be more positive.

Towards work, life and everything.

Need to save more money for trips and DSLR camera.

LOL.

Cannot ignore me so much ok?

Even thou you are starting your business.

If you don't even know how to be a good bf how to be a good husband?

Right?

Good night everyone !

Emotional Day.

2011-10-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Been quite a while since I last blog.

Life have been busy because I have started my night shift recently. :)

But, I feel that I still have many skills to buck up.

Some times I'm thinking, is nursing really my passion?

Am I really happy being a nurse?

I do not know the answer. At first I can confirm that I love it.

But now after I start work, passion for nursing dropped.

Due to plenty of reason, I still love my patients but. . .

There are times when the passion will just decreased and decreased.

:(((

Schooling life and working life is totally different.

Schooling, everyone is a team.

There's no fights no backstabbing everything.

But working life is ... stressful, people fights to do well, gossips arise.

Been thinking, why must all this happen?

The reason is this is life.

Everyone acts like this for no reason.

I must accept that this is the fact. I can't change that.

I must accept this fact.

Sighs.

Family wise,it's not getting good, it's getting worse.

Stress have been piling up. Nobody seems to understand me.

Or rather to say I don't wish to understand anyone at some point of time.

That's pathetic of me some time.

A broken family is not really that great for me.

I thought I will be ok, BUT the fact is I'm not OK at all.

:((((((((((((

Relationship wise... do not know.

Sigh, sometimes I feel that he understand me, sometimes,

he just don't .

I'm happy that he's starting his business now.

But, sometimes I feel that he just neglect me.

Overall I'm happy with him if he don't show attitude. :p

Loves you. thanks for being there for me.

don't b so naughty that's all.

pls understand that I got work and you don't have.

So you don't know how tiring I'm .

Sometimes life is so full of shit.

Been thinking what if one day I'm gone?

will everyone miss me?

will everyone be the same as now or will they change some how?

I can't be so negative.

I wanna b positive but some how can't.

I wanna go church more often but something is pulling me back.

:(((((((((((((((

WO HAO LEI...

I need boy to sayang me. hehe

GOOD NIGHT > @_@

2011-08-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

Been thinking tons and tons of things recently.
Health is not really getting good.
Headache and stress pilling up.
Maybe one day everything will be gone, just don't know
when the time will comes. :)

Today, came across my sister's post, saying that. .
when she see very sweet couple, confirm they just started.
But for me, I don't think that every couple is e same.
There're still some which r still very sweet after many years.
But that does not apply to me. :)

有时我好怀念以前的日子。
以前`的`我会是最幸福的女人，
可是现在的你，以变了。
以前的我，可以大声的和朋友说，我的男朋友是没有脾气的。
他对我是很好的。
可是现在我只能说，他其实没那么好，脾气挺坏的。
为设么呢？
难道时间久了，人就会变吗？？

难道做过错事，就永远不能得到原谅马？
我只想你变回以前的你。
以前那个，不会骂我，不会对我发脾气的你。
那个时候的你，是我最骄傲的。
我相信我们的爱不会变。
所以我相信你会变回那个以前的你。
这一天会到来吗？？　

I want to be those old people walking down the streets,
still holding each others hands till the last minute of their life.
:)
I know God's have plan out our life & future.
But I believe we can make it, :)
Amen !
Nights peeps, Love love.

2011-08-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

今天的我，好不开心。
这是我第二次哭了，为何人说话要那么的尖酸刻薄呢？
我不是故意拿错不承认的，我是一时忘记罢了。
可是没关系，嘴巴是你们的，要这么说就这么说。
我管不着。
I will remember this precious lesson today.
Always check every single thing before I do.
I'm not gonna cry anymore.
It really feels stupid.

Nevermind, this is part of learning journey.
:)
My mind will be stronger next time.
I will thank you for being so sacastic to me.
I will remember every single word you say today.
Also, won't forget the tears I shed today,
& the mistake I done.

主啊`，我好累，真的好累。
为什么人类要那么复杂，
为什么人类心肠要那么坏？
简简单单不是很好吗？
告诉我该这么做？
我真的不适合做护士吗？
:((

2011-07-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

Good news OR Bad news for me?
I've been confirm by my NM.
But, stress have been pilling up again.
This time round, I am really a full time EN.
NO time to be inexperience because I'm dealing with
patients life. :)
A small little mistake from me, the patients may go into danger.
UGH ~

Recently, my senior asked me, is nursing my passion?
I answered, it is.
But I do not know whether it is OR it was.
I know I want to further studies.
But, can I really take the stress. ?
It's not an easy job.
But, a little thank you or a patient smile can bring
great great happiness.

Maybe after 2 years I will find my answers. :))
Now, I will just concentrate on what I'm doing.
Life is not going on well recently.
Family going more and more haywire.
Dad is becoming more and more terrible.
Little favour like asking him to check my chalet thing,
HE says it's troublesome.
What kind of dad I have now. .
Complains about everything, not giving house money.

BUT, on the happier side, I got a good mother.
Helping me in everything.
Thou she scold and nag every single time.
But she loves me more than anything.
:)
I also got my baby boy who loves me.
Thou he always bully me, scold me but he loves me.
I'm sure. :p
Our 1 yr coming, UNIVERSAL studio here I COME !
YES !
I'm loving it.

Alright, shall stop here.
Stop yagging and yagging.
LOL.
Love all my friends, LORD, and everyone who cares.
Lord, bless me !
AMEN!

2011-07-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

Meet up with my girls yesterday after a long time. :))
Went for steamboat(thou bit force), then to Kbox.
Went home around 4am but I didn't fall asleep till 5am.
It was a nice time with all of them.
Ya? :))
How I wish time will just go on like this and won't stop.
How I wish I don't need to go work .. :p
BUT, happy moments always pass very fast.

Alrights, I believe we will meet up and have fun again, :)
Miss those time in school with u all !
Loves it !
Maybe we will continue our fun in poly again after 2 years.
God's bless us all alright.
Amen !
Shall end here now.

BABY I LOVE YOU TOO !

2011-07-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

Suddenly got the urge to blog. :))
Was packing my room halfway then suddenly lotsa memories
went through my mind.
Feel that I really grow a lot along these years.
Met really lotsa people which help me along and pull me down.
Nevertheless, I thank all of them .
Because without them, I will not grow, be it bad or good.
:))

Time pass will never be back.
No matter how hard you try to grab it.
For now, only the future is the most important.
Because, a person can never change their past,
BUT a person can change their future.
Change how they want to live in the future.
I don't wish to be the lazy, negative, only knows how to complain girl
ANYMORE.
The past, I'm weak, non confident, dare not speak out my thoughts,
always giving in to people.
BUT now, I wish to change for the better.

At least for myself and people around me.
I don't wish to be so weak anymore.
I must be confident to be a nurse.
I shall try my best because I know God's will bless me.
Amen!

Time don't wait for people.
Suddenly I feel that I do not have much time.
I need to buck up and get my 3 "O" levels PASS well by end of
next year. :))
I can't afford to delay and fail anymore.
I want to go poly before age of 23. I MUST !
I CAN DO IT ! ! !

Ok too emotional now. :))
For now, I want to have lotsa lotsa money.
God's please let me win 4D? :((
I need lotsa money la ! For my studies and lots..
OK shall end here now needa pack room !

<33 darling boy !

2011-07-13T03:17:00.000-07:00

Today is a fcuk up day for me at work.
I don't know what to say, maybe i'm just not suited
to work in this kind of working life.
It's just too political and everything.
I feel that when it comes to something/incident,
humans are always selfish.
BUT why ?
When you do, you admit when you didn't do say NO.
Just that simple but not all understands.

I just feel sad that the society is like that.
I do not enjoy going work, not because of the workload.
But because of people attitudes in working, and those gossips.
Sigh.
I really hope all these will go away fast.
If not I think I will really break bond and leave.
Study life is so much more better. :(((

God's please let me hang on,
please bless me with faith, patience..
everything I need during work lord.
Please let me meet all the good n nice people.
I'm going crazy soon. sigh.
END.
I'm just stress up.

2011-06-28T07:02:00.000-07:00

A blink of eye, almost 2 months have pass since I start work.
Stress have also pile up totally different from student. :((
Suddenly I miss student times.
Where I can just go break on time, no matter how long.
Where I can just made mistake and be playful.
But now, no. What ever mistake I made will not be tolerated.
Everything must be quick, fast and efficient.
I'm afraid I can't take the stress & turn depress.
I shall try my very best. Shall try to be positive.
God's shall give me strength.
Uploaded photos during school days... :))

When we went to navy open house & play a fool.

Memories. . I wished to go back .
Some friends are hard to find..

Being crazy is just us. :)) Always & as usual.

Sometimes, I feel that times really flies.
I wonder is it a good thing or a bad thing.
Work have been busy these few days. :(
I guess I will be able to cope ? ?
Being in a psychatric ward, made me learn lotsa things.
About life, about how people cope with stress.
Made me know that life is actually very fragile.
No matter how much you earn, how high is your education,
BUT if you don't know how to cope with it, or if you are not happy,
Then everything will just turn into dust .
PHOOF ~ ! GONE ~.

I want to be happy, I want to be more positive.
I don't want to let stress bring me down.
I want to do well in nursing or whatever I do.
:))
Life is always full of challenges ya ?
Holy spirit please guide me along. God's please treat me kind.
But, I know God's will always have his plans for me.

Lastly, Happy 10th months. ! :))
Hope we can walk down the road long.
Thanks for the love up till now, hee.
Thanks for listening sometimes.
& thanks for being there at times when I needed you.
HUGS!

2011-06-13T08:19:00.000-07:00

This is the week I really start my probation,
Feels like everything have change. :((
More stress and responsibilities on me.
It's totally different from student time, I need to rmb that.
I always feel that I'm still a student, but I know I'm not.
No more MCs for the next 3 months at least.
But today I'm sick, hopefully after medicine I will recover.
:))
Baby brought medicine for me.

有时不知道为什么会不想去做工。
有时觉得很累。。
有时觉得累，就想逃跑。
离开这个繁忙的城市。。
从何时何日我开始这样呢？？

Since 12 years old, saving people or being in health line
have been my dream.
Dream to be a paramedic, dream to be a doctor then to nurse.
Now, I'm a nurse in a psychaitric ward.
YET, I lose my motivation.
I do not know since when I lost it.
I do not know since when I lost the happiness in all these.
I always asked myself, why do I choose this path.
Why should I give up now ?
I want to continue, I must .
I want to persue my studies, then help the patients more.

Dear God's, please help me.
I'm lost, somehow I'm lost in this delimma.
I know this is my dream, but I do not know why am I acting this way.
Help me Lord.
I believe you will give me strength.
I believe you put me in this ward because you have special
arrangements for me in the future.
You believe I can do it .
Guide me through, talk to me.
Amen.

Shall end here , hehe enough of my nonsense. :))
Lastly, baby i love you.
Thanks for being there for me,
:))
Muacks !

2011-06-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a bored yet quite relax day for me.

Was happy talking to my friends because tomorrow

is our last day of orientation, :((

Can't see them already, officially go back to ward.

Gonna take new stress already go back ward.

Hopefully that I will get use to the work and do well.

My hamster is still not yet to be found.

But she's eating food so I'm not so worried. :(

Shall change her cage, maybe she will be back then.

Please come back little hamster, mummy misses you.

Now is GSS, gonna go shopping already!!! :))

Good night everyone shall sleep early..

Lastly, love you stupid hubby !

2011-06-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

3/6/2011 is baby 22st birthday.

Didn't celebrate much for him, felt so sorry.

Will spend more time with you next year alright?

Busy working this year so don't really have time to go out.

Brought a cake for baby. He like it ! :)

Work have been up and down for me.

But, I know God's will always be there for me.

Random photos of me ! :p

Trying to act cute!

Simply love this cat a lot but I can't bring it home.

Want to save lotsa lotsa money so that I can bring all animals home.

I haven't find my cute hamster yet !!

& the feeling is not good!

I believe I will find my hamster by this weekend,

I will wait for it to come home then I shall catch it . :)

Please come out hammy !

Feel a lot recently on every single thing.

All along I'm having commitment issues, now I shall solve it.

As a psychatric nurse I know what I should do.

Hopefully all this will stop. :)

Life is not great when you have little education outside.

Now then I see how the realistic world is.

Now then I start to buck up.

Hopefully it's still not too late.

Some teenagers just don't understand how foolish they are,

to stop their studies.

But I understand they are just playful.

They might say they won't regret in the future,

But I can say they will.

Because I regretted not studying hard enough,

JUST to go into polytechinic.

Just 28 marks & I can go into nursing but I didn't try even.

I just gave up on my studies.

Till now when I'm 21 years, I am still holding on ITE nitec cert.

The feeling is terrible. :((

Now I learn my lesson, God's have given me a chance.

I will do my very best next year.

To score or the least pass or my 3 subjects.

To go in to NYP nursing.

To be a psychatric nurse in the future.

Hubby, thanks for being there for me.

Thanks for giving us a second chance at the point of time.

Thanks for always scolding me when i'm wrong.

BUT not for giving me attitude ! :p

You are being loved by ME !

Good night everyone !

2011-05-31T05:26:00.000-07:00

Took two days of MC again due to vomiting & low blood pressure.

:( Oops, shall stop doing that already if not my NM face will be

black.

2011-05-21T01:22:00.000-07:00

Been in my ward for around 1 week already,

somehow knows what's going on in the ward.

Must buck up and learn whatever I can learn.

In another 2 weeks time, my probation is starting soon.

No more honeymoon period. !

Hopefully God's will bless me with good knowledge,

good collegues and good boss!

AMEN God's !

During probation I shall not take anymore MCs.

Need to learn more and buck up on my studies !

Stop complaining so much and work !

Learning how to be positive too... :)

My ward is actually fine, compared to other ward.

Whats more to complain ?

My Hub recently hor, temper not that good.

Tomorrow I must made up my mind to go church!

To thanks God's and to pray to God's.

Not to stay at home & just slack already !

God's do give me strength to overcome anything !

Amen!

Hub Hub i love you.

2011-05-16T07:57:00.001-07:00

Today is my official second day of work & it's not so good.
Don't know where to start nor how to speak about it.
Just can say is that I shed my tears in the ward today.
But, it's ok. Because I have God's with me.
I have lots of staffs which is good to compare with the only one.
But, I learn a lot today.
To have a own opinion of my own, of what is right & wrong.
Not just to follow blindly.
:)
Must jiayou, still got 2 years to go on in this ward !
I also realise that in this working line, autority is real important.
Ranking and working experience is also important.
But, nevertheless, a kind hearted nurse in damn important.

Today, baby fetch me home then to eat. ;)
BUT, we quarrel again because of food.
Then he started saying all the unhappiness about me.
It goes: "Bla bla bla bla bla bla....!!!"
Then I goes: "YAWNS~ Roll eyes*"
LOL, Then I will go: " WEI WEI WEI, stop giving me attitude!"
Then it always never end till we are not angry anymore.
He's never a good guy, shall talk more about my baby now.
:p

My Boy/Hub:
1) He's always "impatient" and will wait for me for long hours.
2)He's always "fighting" with me all the time and "not giving in" to me.
3)He always disturb me all the time when he can.
4)He's always so "inconsiderate" about me & my family.
5)He always "abuse" my dog.
6)He always ride his bike "damn fast" when I'm on the bike.
7)He always "eat up" all the food and "never save" for me.
8)He's a "attitude" guy who's "so full" of himself.
9)He always "SAY NO" to me request.
10)He "don't love" me as much as he always say.

Now you see how bad is my boy/hub?
LOL.
He's the most "No.1 BAD GUY" in the world.
:)
No one can replace. !
shall end here I'm tired.

2011-05-14T01:24:00.000-07:00

Graduation is over, photos will be uploaded asap.

Many things have been happening in my life recently.

Sometimes I feel tired or angry.

Work have start for around 2 weeks already.

I'm not use to it yet, =(

New environment, new working style and new people.

Can I really perform well for this 2 years?

God's, I know why you send me to my ward,

But I still need your strength to support me throughout

the whole 2 years.

Praying that nothing will happen.

Made a choice, gonna retake 3 'O' levels subjects next year.

English, Maths, Science.

Who's willing to provide tution?

Alrights, enough of studies talk.

Gonna lose lotsa weight in this 1 year, =)

My stupid TZW:

It have been 8 months plus since we r tgt.

Many things have happen, many quarrels have arise too.

Hope we will last longer than we expect,

Hope u will trust me.

If we are not meant for each other, then God's will drift us apart.

I believe he will do so.

Don't be naughty anymore, don't bully me !

OK! =p

Loves loves.

2011-05-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day of exposure to my ward..

From 8.30 am to 18.00 pm. The working hours

for orientation is hectic and tiring.

Swear that my legs is tiring and breaking apart..

Luckily there's aircon in my ward, =)

I'm happy for now.. at least my first day is not as scary.

They are nice people down there..

Hopefully they will continue to be nice for the next 2 years.

BUT , my NM is changing.. hopefully he's also good ..

Lots of things I will need to adapt .

I'm trying very hard. I'm scare.

I know I must be independent, i'm trying.

Now i know why God's put me there.

Compare to others, I'm already counted lucky already.

To be posted to such a nice condition ward.

But, also double work. 27 beds, but only 1/2 EN per shift.

Gosh, that's a bad news.

Anyway, I'm quite happy with it. scary scary .

Hee. =D

God's please be kind to me and love me a lot.

Thanks.

Amen !

As for my baby boy, hope that he will treat me nice nice la,

& most of all believe me ! hehe.

2011-04-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

It have been such a such a long time since I last blog.
Now, I have graduated from ITE Nursing course. !
I'm a Full time nurse now , at least for 2 years. ;)
Sad thing is that, April and May I won't get any pay from CGH.
But happy thing I heard from my best sisters is that I will be
getting $800 from government 1st of May.
Damn happy !
Thanks God's for listening to my prayers.
Though I have been a disobedience child of God's,
he will still listen to me... when I have no where to go,
no one to turn to in the deep nights, I cried out to Jesus...
He heard my prayers...
I said I want everything to be back on track, I want my hamster back. . .

Few days ago, my hamster ran out of the cage.
I thought I was never gonna find it because everyone tells me so.
But.. today, tonight.. I found it with the help of Mum, Bf & Kor x2.
I was damn happy because I can once again see my hammy ! :)
But, tomorrow I'm gonna do lots of things alone.
I can do it !
I need to be very independent tomorrow & confidence.
10am- need to go CGH make uniform.
11am- need to go Parkway clinic to take one more tube of blood again.
11.15- travel back to Tampines & go to Tamp plaza pass thing to HR.
12- Back home, rest .
4pm- need to reach dental at 800 plus for appt. :(
Can i really do all this alone?

These few days, things have not been really good between
baby and me..
But yesterday, things suddenly worked out.
We talk happily like the past and everything is fine !
Love him la !
I cooked dinner for him tonight and he loves it !
Will he buy my book for me? ;p
Hope so ! I can't wait to read the new book if he buy for me !
Loves loves !
Alright, shall stop here for now !
blog again soon !

2011-02-16T03:11:00.000-08:00

Stormy Days. .

Learned a lesson few days ago.
Learned that in this society or rather to some person,
we cannot joke or just blabber anything out from our mind.
Learned that in this political society, I need to be careful,
Need to be careful of every single thing I do and say.
If not anytime, I will be hated or "killed" or "stab".
Also learned that no matter how innocent that person might looked like,
deep inside he/she is not.
No matter how good that person treats you, he/she might not be true.
Learned not to trust people easily.

All along, I always think that if you treats someone truly,
they will treat you truly back.
But, that's not the case.
The more innocent you are, the more good you treats them,
they will not appreciate.
Some will even says you are hypocrites or take advantage of you.
Anyway, lesson learn.
I have learned not to say anything much during work.
Even if it's just a joke, I will keep quiet.

In this society, everyone is so political.
But, somehow it's for their survival.
Now I understand. =)
Can't blame anyone.
Only family members , loves ones & God's is true to me.
Others, hard to say hard to predict.
Dear God's, give me strength to just throw away others opinion of me,
To stand up no matter what have happen to me in life,
To think positively,
To love everyone no matter what they do to me,
To forgive and forget.
Amen !

Woo, finally tomorrow afternoon shift !
& I won't get to see her!
Quite happy somehow ! =)
So that I won't have anyone angry with me anymore !
Loves loves !
My experience with ward 37 is ending real soon.
Will miss everyone especially Mei fen, Elaine, Syuhaidah
and many many more. =)
They are nice, really nice. Cheer up my day !

Ps: Lesson learn, will not talk to you much anymore.
I learned that you are such a petty person who can't
take jokes. =)

2011-02-13T01:37:00.000-08:00

Been feeling down lately because of quarrels.
I'm sick now ! =((
Hate to been sick.
But, I'm happy that yesterday dear friend brought a Toy Poodle,
and left it at my house for a day !
It was just so cute , I'm gonna get it soon la !
My mum liked it a lot . Can see they liked it a lot.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day , hope everything will be fine.

I hate your attitude nowadays,
it just made me feel disappointed in you.
Sighs, in the past , you have never treat me like how you treat me now.
No matter how stress are you, you will never shout at me.
But now, you always do so.
As time goes I shall see, because I'm not gonna bear all this for long.
Maybe when girls are nice, boys tend to take advantage.
Shall not complain so much, shall go to church on Sunday from
now onwards.
Many things happen when I distanced from God's.
So we shall go to church from now on ! =)

Dear Father's, Bless us.
Chase away all the demons surrounding us.
Chase away all the evil thoughts in our brain/mind.
Chase away all the sinful thoughts we have been thinking.
Let us love others like how you love us.
Bless us so our work and school will be smooth.
Do not let us feel frustrated over small things,
Let us forgive and forget.
Amen!

2011-02-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

Been such a long long time since I blog, think this
blog can close down real soon. =)
Started attachment for 1 month already, now it's the fifth week.
& I've got 3 replacement, so 3 Saturday burn.
Been thinking quite a lot recently, how's life gonna be when I pass
out as a Enrolled Nurse. Bonded for two years, I have no choice
but to work finish these two years before I move on to anywhere,

Think of studying private dip for nursing or NP/NYP.
As for myself now, I need to buck up for my skills wise and theory wise.
Need to read up more in order to move further. ;)
It's have also been such a long time since I go church.
This Sunday shall be a brand new start for me again.
But, till now, God's have not given up on me.
I can feel all that because everything during my attachment,
it's all planned by him.
Everything happens for a reason.
By complaining won't help anything but make your life miserable.
I shall make good use for the next 3 more weeks in CGH before I go
for my special posting.

Burned all my weekends in CGH, =(( regret for taking MC.
Sorry dear that 3 Sat cannot accompany you. =p
Anyway Valentine Day is coming.
Still ranking my brain about what to give baby.
Maybe a simple and sweet gift will do.
Everyday is Valentine Day actually if we enjoy every single day.
There's no need to specially waste so much money I think.
Thanks everything up till now, without you, everything will be different.
=)
I enjoyed my CNY this year, at least I'm not alone this year.
At least this year I enjoyed everything, be it good or bad.

Such not talk so much, I also want to give thanks to God's grace.
For his everything. =)
I'm sorry Father that I have not been your good daughter,
have not been serving you diligently.
Please take away my laziness, grant me more knowledge throughout my
nursing life/career.
Forgive me for my ignorant and cleanse me with your blood for
the sins I have made.
Thanks for every single thing Father.
Guide me along my life and guide me to what I need to do for my future.
Guide my heart , make it feel bliss and full everyday.
Make the impossible, possible.
Amen. =)

Shall end it here, blog again soon, sleeping time everyone !
loves !

2010-12-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

Exams over already. . . ! Yipee !
Finally it's over but somehow I miss school.
This Saturaday is Life Saver instructor course.
Pray that I pass. .
I'm gonna be an instructor soon !
Can earn extra money already !
Long long time didn't go church already, now holidays.
Should commit myself and maybe find work?
=(

Went to Genting also with family and boyfriend.
Our relationship have gone back to a stable ground.
Enjoyed myself in Genting but it's tiring because of long
road trip.
Next time shall go KL to shop shop and shop !
Thanks baby for tolerating my everything.

PS: Dearest boyfriend, thanks for everything ya.
Sorry for the past mistakes.
I will try to be good k . LOL.
Hope we will last long long.

2010-12-01T04:23:00.000-08:00

Today, it's our 0904 cohort performance.
It last about an hour plus plus. =)
All of us having fun at the MLT , our last week of school.
It's our last Semester already. .
Time files like nobody busniess.
Still remember when I first step into Simei ITE(nursing),
I'm still a 18 year old little girl.
Who look afraid and knows nothing about nursing.

Met new friends in Simei ITE, see classmates and friends
leave the course and new friend join our class.
Go to attachment for the very first time and cried badly,
like a small little lost nurse/student.
Now, it's our last run, 2.2.
2 years flies just like this. .
Our class, from 40 students went down to only 32 students.
Change CP group from 2.1, though I feel weird but everything
went on fine. =)

Now it's the last week of semester 2.2, we'll never wake up
6 am & no more lesson at 8 am anymore.
No more morning lectures and nagging in Simei ITE anymore.
No more Simulation training and get scoldings from teachers anymore.
This week is the last week that we will experience all this.
Out there it's the cruel world and we will be nurses out there.
The last chance for all 0904 to meet again & do our best . .
It's the BCLS instrustor course upcoming 11 &12 December.
Lastly Jan, mass CPR teaching as instructor.
ALL 0904, lets do our best.
We'll all be CPR instructor , we can all pass !
Because we are 0904 nursing student ! =)

Will miss all the lecturers and teachers in school.
Will also miss my class 0904C. =)
BB gotta study for now !
exams coming up !
Friday, it's my Genting trip! woo gotta study.

2010-11-18T07:09:00.000-08:00

Long long time didn't have time to post & blog.
Rushing project recently & to prepare for upcoming
exams. =((
One blink of eye, 2 years of nursing is ending soon.
It's really sad to graduate, I really will miss my friends
& JR0904, JP0904 Cohort.
Time pass very fast without even waiting for anyone.
Sometimes, we tend to complain about long hours
of nursing lesson.
Complain that the canteen is damn pack,
Complain about the teacher and that. .
But when it's ending. . .
We miss every bit and pieces of it.

I learn a lot during my sem 2.1 & 2.2 in campus.
By meeting some people, makes me more patience.
Makes me know how to bear & just smile when being scolded/assaulted.
Yes, today I'm being assaulted by someone in my class,my clique.
What she scold is really too overboard,
Not what a friend would say.
But, I didn't scold her, I just kept quiet.
No point in quarreling with someone like her.
But, the next time, I'm not gonna bear it.
I'm gonna confront her straight.

Sometimes, I try not to say anything when people
say something harsh.
Because before I scold or get angry,
I will always think twice . . .
People do make mistake, or maybe they don't mean it.
I might have said harsh words to people before. .
So, I might want to forgive the person & not get angry.
But, some people they just step over your head.
I do not want to mention names but ya. . they do.

Another 2 more weeks or less than that in school.
Seriously will miss school.
I don't wish to pass out, life is tough out there.
No longer will be protected by teachers.
We will be out fighting alone.
Good luck to all the JR0904, this will be our last
attachment & exams !
Let's do our best !
For JP0904R, proceeding to paramedics , do well too !
It's our last lap, pass well and proceed !
Those bonded , more than ever must do well !
Jiayou, good luck !

Shall stop my long and naggy post !hehe.
Good night. off to do project!

2010-11-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

Day 3:
It's the 3rd day you're not in Singapore.
Still a long long way to go. . .
Today got one bad news & one happy news.
Happy is that I pass m FTT evaluation,
Bad is I drove baby car, & met into a small collision.
I collide pass a big lorry in a car park.
Damage is counted quite big, fixing & spraying cost
around $ 600- $800.

Shall see how when dear is back from Australia.
Felt guilty because it's my fault.
Said sorry to dear but he's not angry at all.
Really sorry.
Thanks for loving me more than anything else.
=)
Suddenly I remember my mum told me before:
it's better to find someone who love you more than you love him.
Meet up with my buddy Derek tonight.
Just to view the damage car & chit chat a while.

Just can say he is very skinny boney now.
Different from the 4 years ago Derek. LOL.
Tomorrow shall pack my room & bathe my little hammy.
Dear will be calling me tomorrow again ! =)
Loves.

缘分是很·奇怪·的·东西·，
当·你·很·渴求·的·时候·，它不会·来·，
当你·不·渴求·的·时候·，它会·出现·。
可是·有时·缘分·来·的·不对·或·太快·，
往往·就·是·有缘无份·。

2010-11-04T02:26:00.000-07:00

Day 1:
Today is the first day you leave for Australia. Though it's
just 3 weeks, it seems long for me.
It makes me feel like it's 3 months.
Guess I shall make myself occupied.
Psychiatric test complete, hopefully I can pass or rather pass well.
Next week shall start on Behavior Science project & Psychiatric Project.
Stress up, next wed is my Behavior Science test. OMG!

Dear is not here in Singapore, sighs.
Sat shall be my FTT evaluation test, shall
make sure I pass this time. Practice makes everything perfect.
=)
I'll pray hard to God's that I'll pass.
Shall be good & not drive for this 3 weeks till he's back.
Somehow something is not right when he's not with me. .
Do not know why. .

Another question is cracking my brain,
Should I go work part time?
If I work I can save some money.
Let me think. . .
Shall find a flexible,near and suitable job.
God's shall make decision for me, =)
Lastly, I miss you.

2010-10-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

The last run towards graduation is tough.
There's elective course, plenty of projects to do & test.
Hectic week this week or infect every single week.
Tomorrow & Friday, Phrase test(Chocking, Baby CPR, 1 man CPR)
PLUS MCQs.
All have to be pass in one day, no failures allow.
Tomorrow is also my FTT evaluation, OMG.
Hopefully I can pass every thing by tomorrow.
God's , please give me strength.

Now I have 3 projects. 1 is from PM, almost done.
1 for my elective(psychiatric), not even started yet.
Last one is Behaviour Science, topic unknown yet.
Hopefully everything will be fine, as long as I don't fail & score well.
=)

Quarrel with Dear just now. Tomorrow is our Second month.
What a day to quarrel.
sighs. Shall not think over it anymore.
Good night everyone !

2010-10-10T09:02:00.001-07:00

Every single day pass. . .
You've been tolerating me, trying to make me smile,
and trying to make me fall in love with you.
You made me cry before, made me laugh,
made me angry and scolded you.
In the end, you will still give in to me. . .

After 1 month plus of your love,
I can really feel it.
Can really feel your love for me. .
No matter what I want, you'll get it for me if you can.
What more can I say or choose. .
Today, I can confirm that I'm in love with you.
Loves loves!
thanks dear for every single thing.

2010-10-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I update my bloggy !
Today, boy sell off his 2nd love & got his pay.
So he brought me to Takashimaya to brought my Coach's
pouch. LOL.
Tonight boy also brought my parents & me to eat !
Boy today spent around $260 on dinner & present.
He'll need to save some money already.
When boy get his money he'll give me some, =p
Can't wait. . .
Just kidding.

After all I still want to thank God's for everything.
For answering my prayers & sell off dear Ducati
before this Friday for 24200.
Though he lose quite a amount of money, but still sold it.
Thanks God's for my evaluation.
I pass today & I shall next pass my BTT & FTT. =)
Really, thanks God's for everything.

Lastly, thanks God's that he let me meet you,
Let us fall in love & let me be pamper by you.
God's let me meet someone who's willing to give his
everything to me & love me truthfully.
Though he is not the perfect man on earth,
BUT, my boy is someone who'll willing to pamper me,
carry my bag for me whenever I go,
know what I need & what I want,
wipe my hair dry after I bathe,
willing to love my parents & my friends.
willing to accept my every flaws,
willing to give up his favorite bike & get a car just for me,
who can spend his every cent on me as long as I'm happy,
who'll tolerate my attitude always,
Most importantly,willing to accept God's & go church with me,
& many many more. . .

I'm happy, I know i'm grown up girl.
Need to find a stable relationship, a good guy.
I do not know if he's the one,
but I know God's will guide me there.
=)
Therefore, I'm not afraid.

Ps: Dearest ZW,
Thanks for tolerating my attitude, I'll change it.
No more bad words, no more shouting. I'll try,=p
I'll also try to get license within 6 months.
Thanks for everything, I'm happy.
Sorry that I always said words that offended you,
Or hurt you.
Sometimes, I don't mean it. Sorry !
I love you.

2010-09-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

22 Sep:
Early celebration with mum & friends. =)
Went to Kbox & spend 300 plus there.
Thanks aunt who pay for me, loves.
Mum brought me one dress today, love it a lot.
Long long time never get to sing & it's great singing!
Let's picture do the talking.

Me & mother !

3 crazy butch.

Me & dear. Loves.

26 SEP:
Went out to buy dear present today with RY & WY.
Choose a bright colour for dear, =)
It's nice ! Right choice !
Brought hamster and cage today too.
Happy ! This hamster is obedient.
Love him! hopefully he will be good always.

2010-09-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

My birthday is coming in less than one week's time! =)
Happy yet not confirm of my plans yet.
Thanks dearest for getting me my long champ bag!
Sadly to say, i'm still sick right now.
Feel so irritated by my non-recover cough.

Should I work? Hope I'll find a good part time job.
I've been rotting at home recently.
Omg, bored me to death already.
Dearest is coming out tomorrow! Wee..
Cell group then movie tomorrow then maybe ECP?
Still very angry spending the $26 on the machine but didn't
get any bear or what in return.
Ugh !
Hate it Hate it.
Alrights, I shall stop complaining & pack my room for now !
It's so messy for maybe half a year? =p

2010-09-09T07:30:00.001-07:00

1 month of holidays starting from now on ! =)
Somehow I feel, trust is more important between couples.
If God's is willing to bring us together,
then I believe that he'll have plans for me.
During these 10 weeks of attachment,
I prayed for confidence, patience & wisdom.
Through fall incident, he teach/gave me wisdom,
teach me to be more alert & how to protect myself.

Through skills & procedures, he teach me confidence.
Though I still have lots to improve.
Through working with unreasonable enrolled nurses,
he train my patience.

I also understand that God's will not just give like this,
he'll give or teach me these 3 things by daily life/work.
Now my attachment ends, it's time to relax ! =)

Recently, both of us are not at very good terms.
Maybe I do not know you well enough,
or simply you're just not who I see.
I'm tired, never mind.

2010-09-07T01:30:00.000-07:00

5/09/10 Sunday:
Long time didn't get to post photos.
Can't find my camera connector but now I found it.
So, update some of the recent photos.
Recently I meet up with SR & SY to bugis. =)
Miss them so much, it was great shopping with them.
On the other hand, 280810 is a new starting for me.
A new chapter begins on that day.
Up till now or rather till future, I hope that everything will be fine.
I appreciate what you do to me up till this day.
Loves.

Me with specs. =) Clearer picture another time !

Flowers that he brought for me on that day !

Snap shot ! =P

I love blue roses!

07/09/10 Tuesday:
Attachment is ending in 2 days time !
Somehow everyday is getting busier and busier.
This few days, I really feel God's is really responding to me.
God's is really talking to me thru people around me.
That's what I feel.
Because, today my Clinical Instructor talked to us.
I reflected a lot, about work, life and a lot..
Indeed we cannot choose what people want to say, how people think,
but we can choose how we want to think & what choice we want to make.
& God's will never give up challenge that is not our level.
God's will never tempt his sons/daughters,
He'll never hurt or harm his sons/daughters,
For he love us so much that he send down his only son.

Life is full of challenges & different character of people,
But we'll just have to face it.
Rather than complaining every single day,
Because complaining doesn't change anything.
It will only make our life more miserable.
=)

2010-08-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

2 more weeks before I end my attachment. =)
Been really sick this few days.
Seen a doctor & hope that I'll feel better by tonight.
Time really flies like nobody business.
Got to really plan for my future.
Need to save up money ? =)

Look forward to Dec !
Might be going to HK with friends & love.
Is HK cold during Dec?
I wonder...
I'm gonna save $ from next month or this month onwards.
Might need to work for more money.
I have been spending quite a lot this few months.

Deep down in my heart ,
I should say thanks & sorry to someone.
Thanks for all the things you've done for me.
But, somehow, my heart can't find a place for you.
Dui bu qi.
I'll never forget the moments we share.

2010-08-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Been sick this few days, =(
Flu, sore throat & cough have been attacking me.
But, I will drink more water & fight the bacteria!

Attachment left 2 more weeks.
8 more competency before I can pass.
Can I pass? =(
I'll try to do as much skills as possible.
Critical or non critical.

Brought Hesky a dog carrier but can't fit in,
So need to change to other stuffs already.
Waste $100 on my first day of pay already.
Another $65 on dog hair cutting this Sunday.
Hopefully I'm able to book an appointment.
God's please, heal my sickness.
Make me well again.
I can't afford to fall sick already.

Recently, did not commit & pray a lot to God's.
From this Sunday onwards, I shall not miss church. =)
Miss for two Sunday's already.
Makes me feel distant from God's.
But, I know God's is always there for me.
I'll pray hard that everything will be smooth for me.
& also pray hard that you'll come to my church +
hopefully, you're the one.

=) Shall rest early now.
Really feeling unwell.
Sat, working morning again !
Last day of replacement !
Happy !!!
Movie- Sat.
Outing- Sun.
Can't wait for weekends to come.

PS: Enjoyed every single moment with you.
Hopefully, God's will approve. =)
Thanks for everything .

2010-08-24T03:01:00.000-07:00

Another 2 more weeks before I finally end my attachment.
During this attachment, I made an mistake.
Patient fall during my transferring, it's an mistake an year 2
shouldn't make.
Learn my lesson & I will be extra careful during work next time.
God's have give me this incident to make me more alert.
But, nevertheless, it's a very big impact for me.
I will never be able to forget what have happen.
I will always remind myself to be extra careful.

This two days been having sore throat.
Need to drink more than 4 bottles of water per day. =(
I cannot afford to fall sick.
2 more weeks!!!!

Tomorrow will be meeting you,=)
Looking forward to it !
Someone will be teaching me how to drive tomorrow.
I'll learn very fast. =p
Tomorrow will be another tiring morning shift.
Time will pass very fast, I'll do as many skills as I can !
MISSES!!!
Off to pack room, case study & sleep !

2010-08-20T00:51:00.000-07:00

I'm damn piss off and damn moody when I got my results.
She gave me a C for my first posting.
1 more mark to an B yet she didn't even gave it to me.
For the whole posting, only 3 days of MC from me.
Yet I still get low grade.
Maybe working hard is pointless, ya?

Everything is just not smooth this few days.
During my weak times, I prayed and prayed.
But to no replies,
I do not know what happen suddenly.
But now, I don't wish to know.
Maybe Father's you're not hearing my prayers or maybe you don't
want to answer my prayers anymore.
Sighs, 3 more weeks to the end of attachment.
Make it be fast.
Hope that I can complete my skills in time. =(
I don't want to fail.

2010-08-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Youth Olympics is coming.
My duty is starting tomorrow. =(
God's, please bless me !
Let the 4 hours end smoothly without anything happening.
Let it be fast and good.
It's a once and lifetime opportunity,
Let it end smoothly for me and everyone.
Gonna sleep early ! =)

God's please guide me along,
Tell me and show me what is your wish.
What is your command.
Show me visions.
Guard my heart. =)

2010-08-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Father/Lord,
Guide me, heal my heart.
Don't let me walk into the darkness again.
Show me the light,
Show me visions and give me hints.
Teach me what to do.
As i am still young and new.
As new as a newborn.

I'm facing troubles, I do not want to walk into darkness.
Show me your light.
Open my eyes and let me see the light & truth.
& I'll know what to do.
I know that light can never yoke with darkness,
like the believers can never be with non-believers.
Right now, I'm stuck.
So Father's, guide me along.
Amen.

2010-08-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Went to ECP for YOG bump in today.
Didn't get to go to church today. Damn unhappy !
Weather is freaking hot and we have to be there
for 3 hours. =(
Do drills and practice on our stretchers again.
Please, on that competition day, hope no one collapse.
Finish around 5 & I cab home to bathe.
Meet YX to movie at night.
Watched Street Dance, damn nice. =)
The dance moves are all nice, made you want to learn it too.

I'm like very hungry today and I eat quite a lot.
Quarrel with YX today but my friend says that it's my fault,
so i apologies to him. (A bit unwilling) =p
Read his sailing journals,
Quite touched that he really wrote every day till day 15.
Thou, it's not very long but it's a piece of effort.
But, time is still needed, for God's approval.
Somethings are not meant to be rush or force. =)

Attachment is ending in another 5 weeks time !
Happy & hope that time pass quickly !
I can't wait to go on a holiday or a break. =)
Loves loves !

2010-08-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Went for facial today & dinner after that.
Went to look for nice glasses to wear. =p
I found one which I like a lot but it's quite expensive.
The one I like is $260 plus lens.
But my mother finds it too expensive because I don't always wear it.
I found another one similar to the picture,
cost about $108 with lens?
But, it's not branded.

Now the question comes in,
Which one should I get ?
One is Armani brand another one is just normal.
Mum says I should get the cheap one because I will lost it.
Omg, she also says if I want the expensive one,
Pay for myself.
Damn shit ! Guess I shall get her to buy me the cheap one. =)
I'm just wearing it for fun, not long term.
Contact lens is still my first priority.

Ps: Another 2 more hours or earlier,
you will be back ! =)
Can't wait for your first call.
Cheese !

To someone:
This two days, you have been random.
We start to contact each other again.
After maybe 1 year cool off period?
I do not know why, maybe you;re just bored.
=)
Nevertheless, I'm glad that you are doing fine.

2010-08-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday to Monday, it's a long week end.
But that does not applies to me.
I only have Monday to rest.
Sat, I'm having replacement, Sun, YOG bump in. =(
Feel so reluctant to go to work but I have to.
This two days, I feel so tired working with my partner.
I do not wish to complain but sometimes things just get worse.
Being a year two student, she is just working too slow.
Every time I work with her, she will not take the BP.
I will take almost all every time.
She chart slow, ask me do this and do that.
Use my phone to call & talk, thinking that she pays the bill.

In the past, I am not in the same team as her.
But now I'm, for a week or two.
I know I shouldn't complain,
But sometimes I feel that people step over me
when I just keep quiet.
I'll just bear with it for the moment but I will explode if she continue.
Never mind. I shall pray to God's for advice.

YX is coming back on Sunday morning 2a.m. =)
I'm happy ! I'll pray hard that he reach around 12 on Sat.
Got tons of YOG stuff to ask him.
Sunday 1-6 at ECP. =(
How I wish I can just sleep on a peaceful Sunday.
There's two movies I'm going to watch Sunday & Monday!
Salt & The last Air bender.
Wonder will YX want to watch? I don't care, he have to make up to me ! =p
Misses !

2010-07-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

This is the second week you're gone.
National Day's you will be coming back.
Have lots and lots to tell you. =)
So, be back soon !
Be prepared to hear all my complains & scoldings!

In another 2 hours, I gonna work!
Gosh, what am i suppose to do again today. . .
Let me think, maybe communicating more with patients.
I will definitely miss them, definitely !
But, honeymoon period is always gonna be over,
2 weeks pass like rocket.
Time will not stop just for me or anybody else.
Going back to ward is just hectic for me.
Next week I gonna work 6 days straight.
But I have do this before, so i believe I can do it.

Today I have sore throat & I barely have voice right now.
=(
May God's give me good health & bless me !

2010-07-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

Since I have choose this path, I know it will sure
be tough. =)
But my faith will not waver, thou I do not know
what challenges I will face.
But I know it will be more harder and harder for me.
My faith will be my eyes.
Therefore, I will not fall and will rise again & again.

Since I have choose this path, I know it will be
hard for you and me.
If God's object , then I will have to give up.
Because I know going against God's will only lead to punishment.
I will pray every single day,
for us & for God's approval.
Need to save more money already, for China trip.
& also to decorate my little room a little.
Shall stop here, time to go to work now!
Goodbye.

2010-07-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

7 more hours before you are off to sailing.
Out of bounds.
You've been giving me enough respect,
care & concern.
I shall give myself & you 6 months to think.
If till then, if God's object to it, I'm sorry.
God's have a plan to every single thing.
If you're not the one, we cannot force.
I'll miss you for this 3 weeks.

August is a busy month for me.
08/09( National Day's), you will be back.
That's when my intensive training start.
Need to train for YOG for the one last time.
=)
Loves, end here already.

2010-07-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Patience is the word I must master.
I begins to understand the picture more clearer now.
Being a nurse, love & patience is the most important.
God's put me in this new group, Geron ward,
To make me into a better person he wants.
But, I feel ashamed of myself sometimes.

At times, when I'm in bad mood or frustrated,
I lose my temper & patience.
I lose my temper to the patients sometimes.
Thou I know some of them are demented, confused,
But I still lose my temper sometimes.
Nurses are not super human.
But no matter what, I shouldn't lose my temper.

After losing my temper, I ask myself again,
They don't mean it, they do not know anything.
If one day i'm old like them, would I want the future generation
to do such things to me?
No I will not want such things.
So, Dear Father's, please give me more patience, love, wisdom.
For then, I can fulfill what you want me to fulfill.
=)

On the other hand, 20th is coming in less than a week.
Out for sail for 3 weeks & is only back during National Day's.
To me, it's long.
Very long period of time.
Everything will be different, but I know all is God's plan.
I will use these 3 weeks to think carefully.
After all, if changes is not made, I'll need to make a choice.
I can't let my faith go haywire. =)
Do take good care of yourself, I'll pray for you.
I will definitely miss you.

Next week onwards will be 2 weeks in I.M.H.
Guess I will be having much fun.
More workloads, guess I will need to be 24 alert.
Shall stop here, morning shift tomorrow.
Good bye everyone !

2010-07-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, in life, we may feel like giving up.
Sometimes, in life we may feel tired,
Sometimes, we might feel like resting for long time,
Sometimes in life, we might feel angry,
Sometimes, we might feel lonely,
But nevertheless, God's is there.
His warmth & love will never stop for anyone.

Need to have my own convictions to God's already.
=)
1 week of attachment nearly finish.
No medical leave for now.
For these 10 weeks, I do not want any records.
I want to achieve an high B or A.
At least, that's my target for now.
I believe, I can do it.

There's always miracle, because there's God's.
Can't wait for Sunday to come, that's the only day
I can be close to Father's.
Need to sort out my feelings & thoughts this Sunday.
JIAYOU!!! I can do it.

2010-07-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

Today is the second day of my attachment,
work have been quite hectic.
Because of my stupid shoes that made my day worse.
=(
Nevertheless, the staffs there are great.
Guess I will enjoy the 1 month posting.
Hope time pass faster, not really use to attachment.
Need more time to pray already, as my list is getting longer.

Recently, plenty of things have been happening.
Need to cope with it, but some things are hard to sort.
Can only pray to Father's to open up my eyes.
To see the truth & light.
Amen. =)

10 weeks of attachment pass faster.
Someone will be going sailing for 3 weeks!
Wonder how sad he is not to see me for 3 weeks.
=p

2010-07-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, what we wants is not what God's wants now.
So God's will never give it to us now.
For he have already plan his timing for every single thing.
Sometimes, we force what we want, he gives it.
But, in the end we will get sufferings.
Maybe, it's just not the one OR
Maybe it's not the right time.

Heavenly father, I know this is not what you want me to do now.
But, the devil loves to tamper my emotions.
Please guide me, give me answers to my questions.
But, more or less, I'm already trying to accept it.
Forgive me father for not attending church today.
I'm emotionally tortured last night.
But, this will not let me turn my back on you.
Instead, it made me rely on you more.

I know you have been answering my prayers recently,
giving me answers bit and pieces here and there.
Trying to make me know what I should do now.
Trying to clam my mind down.
But in this world, there are lots of false prophets.
Sometimes, I do not know what to believe.
But I know dear father, you will show me the light & the truth.

I'm sorry that I once doubted you.
I'm sorry that I once think of scolding you.
I'm sorry that I once do something that made you disappointed.
But, you have never gave up on me.
Because I know you will never give up on your daughter, your child.
For now, I know you will guide me thru all this.
I believe that you will show me the light & truth someday.
Therefore, I will continue to pray & believe in you Father.

With loves.

2010-06-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

Church at 11.15a.m tomorrow & yet I'm still blogging down
here. =p
Got to wake up at 9a.m in the morning.
That's early, less than 6 hours of sleep.
Really need to buck up & rest more from tomorrow
onwards. Before attachment need to rest like a pig.
有时会有走不下去的时候。。
可是我还是会有力量走下去。。
Will stop being negative. !!
Rest before church , nights！

2010-06-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

In the past, I'm quite sure what I want in life.
But now, I'm rather quite stuck.
The world being so realistic made me change,
every single of my views.
以前的我，只想找个爱我的人，
对我好，疼我，爱护我。
可是现在的我，不是这样。
要求越来越多的我，变得很不像我。
现在的我，是用眼睛去看，不是用心。
多次的伤害，让我的心关起了门。
我错了吗？
是不是对他不公平？
我是不是会伤他的心？

Maybe I should really think properly.
Do I really worth your love?
I know you've tried to treat me good,
I also know you are trying to let me believe in love
once again.
But it's not so easy.
Should I just let you go?
I've got no answers, all is just question mark.
=)
No matter what, I believe that God's will lead me the way.

2010-06-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

If only God's will grant me endless amount of money,
If only I'm perfect with no flaws,
If only I can be happy every single day,
If only I can have every single thing I want,
But that's only if. =)
Now, I only want God's to bless me with good
health, happiness and more money.
Maybe some day I'm able to find back those
deep feelings I have towards my love ones.
As for now, it's hard.
My heart no longer believe eternity love,
no longer believe in true love.

Feeling giddy & unwell.
Bye-bi.

2010-06-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

Finally is holidays, rebonded my fizzy hair.
=)
I'm a happy girl now.
But, not a bit unhappy because I might need to work.
$$ not enough use!
Shopping is coming right up, it's sprees time! =D
Girls, ! Let's go shopping !
Save up your pockets & we shall shop till we go crazy.

Sad to say, attachment group have change.
I'm unhappy but baby cheer me up.
Upcoming events: zoo trip, Singapore Flyer, lotsa movies &
our shopping spree.
Got a few shopping list, :
1) Non-fabric shoes for attachment.
2) New Casio watch for myself.
3) White blackberry bold (considering)
4) New clothes & accessories for myself.
5) New wallet.
6) New bag for myself.
7) Some hamster toys & stuffs.
8) Dog toys & food.
9) New water bottle for work/school.
10) Small little cute dustbin for my wardrobe.
11) More Jonghun stuffs.
12) New net book cover.
13) Make ups stuffs !
14) New mouse, new keyboard.
15) New hairdryer.

Guess that's it already.
Lol, my shopping list growing longer & longer.
Need to find a high pay job already. =)
Night-shift work should be fine.
Yoga tomorrow, need t o turn in early!
Nights everyone !
Ps: love you ! , meeting you in less than 20 hours time.
Hugs.

EXAMS !

2010-05-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

18 more hours to my final exams. =(
Till now only part of the things get into my mind.
Need to pray hard for the information to get
inside, just for tomorrow & the day after.
Meet bf these two days, he accompany me study.
Guess he didn't sleep well, that's why he is such
a pig today. =p Slept so much till afternoon.
Heading out in 1/2 an hour time.
Need to study hard today! ! !
Meeting RY & WY later on, =)
Much loves.

Ps: thanks so much,for everything. =)
loves. !

2010-05-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

Exams is coming, RY & WY come my house
for revision overnight.
Baby is here too & I didn't get to study much.
Reflected a lot recently & I feel that sometimes
I'm too mean to others. (those who is close towards me)
So sorry x10000..
I don't mean it sometimes.
Have been craving for Marcrons for days.
In the end it was baby who brought it for me. =p
But, someday you must bake for me.
You promise me already.

Yesterday I slept so well that baby suffers.
Oops, so sorry.
=)

PS: The day I met you,
was the day I smile.
Long lost smile, was found again.
But my heart, might not be found.
It's hard to really trust love now.
But i'll try for you.

LOVES

2010-05-25T06:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe by making this choice I will be happier.
Maybe I can find the things I want in him.
After so long, tired of short r/s.
Hope it will be a long one. =)

Crave for macrons for a very long time.
Should I head to Bakerzin for it?
Maybe someone will give me a surprise. =p
I want my home cook food again, it's delicious.
Deserts next time round alright?

We might not know each other long enough,
But mutual feelings & understanding is there.
Nevertheless, I will try to believe you.
Loves.
Don't let me down, if not I will never be there anymore.

PS: Monday blues has gone away,
because it marks our day.
I'm starting to miss you now.

Monday Blues. .

2010-05-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

It's Monday blue ! woo ~
Lectures all day long made me gonna die off.
Whole night never sleep because of Geron Project.
5 hours of lectures in a day will kill me.
Conflicts is not yet resolve.
But, it will. =)
God bless RY with a good health, faster discharge &
back to school ! we'll miss you !
Suddenly find this song is so nice. .

Goodbye-卫兰

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Through it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say good-bye.

Just find it very nice and meaningful.
=)
Maybe someday, I will know what is true happiness.

2010-05-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

Headache suddenly striking me, damn painful.
Suddenly, feels that death is so scary.
Face lot of deaths in hospital but it's so different when
you face it yourself.
So, peeps do take good care of your health b4 u even regret.

Need to relax myself & release all my stress.
Geron project to be handed in this coming Monday.
Gosh, I feel double stress.
Got process report yet to finish, evaluation, Power point slides,
lots.
Cannot add more stress to my brain already.
Must learn how to be positive thinking, relax & b happy.

说了还是一样..你还是每天不回家,
说了也是我一个人.
我累了.
It's time for me to let go of all this shit,
& be truly happy already.

Headache ah headache, go away .
nights. byebye

To say, to do & to try your best !

2010-05-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Confidence is always something I've lack of.
Since young till now.
I did not know why, maybe because of surroundings or myself.
Till I join Nursing, it helps me out a bit more.
Thou i still need to improve on it.

YOG= Youth Olympics Games is a good way for me
to improve on my confidence.
Learning CPR & doing training with SAF medics.
CPR is hard actually, we were taught but i don't think got
chance to do it. =p

I think if i choose to do something now,
I must do it or at least try my very best.
Shouldn't give it up halfway already.
For the past few years, I've been giving up too many things.
It's time I made a change.
Next year I will be really working as a Enrolled nurse in CGH.
Can't afford to have this kind of attitude.
Need to buck up ! =)

Anyway, 1 more test left, 2 more exams papers to go.
Holidays, I'm coming !
Have to score well for my exams !
JIAYOU !
Off to sleep ! bye !

2010-05-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

现在才懂原来一个人可以变那么多。
本来，我还对你还有一些希望，但是，
你真的太过分了。你弄妈妈那么伤心。
我也累了。。。
对这个家以没什么好说了。
Tomorrow is my PCA test yet I didn't even study.
I really don't have the mood to study.
But I don't wish to flung my test.
I wish to do well.
Guess I need to burn midnight oil to study. =(

Hereby, I wish all Mothers a Happy Mother's Day.
Today bring my mum go eat, queue was long & my temper flare up.
But in the end everything is well.
Hope my Mum enjoy her Mother's day. =)
Need to buck up & study already.
May God's bless me.
Let me concentrate. I need to concentrate.

PS: I need time, after all this shit and facts i seen from surroundings.
Sorry, I need time to adjust my feelings & trust towards r/s.
Give me time if you truly love me & believe in me.
If you don't, I've got nothing to say.
You may leave.
My heart is just too tired for anything, for any blows.
I just want someone beside to be with me, to care & to love me truly.
That's all.

=)

2010-05-08T08:31:00.001-07:00

07 MAY:
Getting more & more lazy to update.
Because tests & exam is coming right up.
No time for rest at all. =(
Receive my first pay yesterday, $900.
But, spend $542 just within 5 hours.
Pay RY $194 & did some small make up shopping
& Mother's day present.
There my 300 goes. =)

Shall cut down on my cab fare already.
& that damn cigarette that cost me $12. >_<
Pass over to carene after one stick.
Such a waste of money.
Anyway went down to Orchard for YOG( Youth Olympic Games)
as a volunteer.
Shouldn't have go down. so many people.
=(
Nice chat with LHX then home sweet home after that.

08 MAY:
Meet up with Lai Peng today with RY & WY.
Was damn late & decided to cab down.
Cost me bloody $17.10.
& it was not peak hour.
Fcuk up, hate traffic jams.
No more cab !
Spend a lot today also.
draw $60 out from my bank,
$27.50 for Kbox,
$30 on True Singapore Ghost Stories,
$31 on a Hush Puppy Polo T-shirt
& $16.90 on one Yoga pants.

Now leftover in my bank: $200.
Ugh, just one freaking day & I manage to spend so much.
Need to go pay my bills tomorrow.
It's $123 but i decided to pay $77 first. =(
Gosh gosh.
Another pay is coming in 25 May.
Must save up already . =)
No more shopping much. Maybe cheap ones? =p
Who want to sponsor me on shopping ?
Or who care to buy me the Couch pouch/wallet I want?
Guess no one !

After Kbox I head over to AMK then to Bishan.
I still love Tampines after all. Because nothing much over
north side. =(
Took 59 home with Klein.
He send me home & bus back to AMK again.
59 is fast compared to 22.
Home sweet home.
Shall end here, I'm hungry again.

STRESS !

2010-05-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my Geron test & here I'm sitting down
here & blog.
Seriously, this topic is making me bored to tears.
Totally dry & I have not much interest in this topic.
But, no choice.
In order to score, I need to do well in both test & project.
Shit, real shit.
2 hours test tomorrow !
Left less than 10 hours to study. =(

2 days of Yoga session is making me tired.
Maybe too long never exercise. =)
This Wednesday is my sports & wellness.
Hate it, hate the teacher.
BUT, I cannot show it. Fcuk.
Alrights, shall go & study again !
Need to buck up already !

ANGER, FEAR,HAPPY,SAD?

2010-04-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

Went to Yoga this two days with RY & WY.
Lesson is only one hour yet I feel so tired.
But, nevertheless I enjoy my Yoga session with them.
=)
Tired but fun.
Will try to go more next week.
Test & more tests coming up. Gonna study hard
for my upcoming Geron test.
Stress level going high up again.
To Ed: I really appreciate every single thing you do.
Sometimes, it's just the matters of the heart.
Or rather,it's the timing of our meetings.
You're a good guy, find someone who really deserve it.
& find someone who really do love you wholeheartedly.
I'm sorry, I'm not the one who can do that.
There's nothing I can say already to make you feel better.

Conflicts, quarrels & unhappiness.
I want no more of these.
Maybe my smile will be back someday.
Maybe not.
Nevertheless, I will still try to survive. =)
Because, It's my life.
No matter what happens, I will try to hang through it.

PS: It's dying inside, deep inside.
Broken family ties, rocky studies & stressful life.
How long more can I take all this shit.
How long more can i continue to fake a smile outside?
& how long more can I lie to myself?
God's , please guide me.

2010-04-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Once the house is filled with laughter. Filled with love.
But now, it's only emptiness I see.
Every corner of the house, it's only me.
I've seen no other reflections.
Where have my love ones gone to,
Where have so call Mum & Dad gone to.

Once change, it will never be back.
I'm so disappointed in both of you.
You broke the happy family in my heart.
You made me don't wish to go home.

Alrights, enough of complains.
Happy news, I brought a Syrian Hamster home.
Name her Piglet.
Because she looks like a pig. =)
New family member !
Pay faster come, so I can brought her lotsa snacks.
Go to sleep! Bye!

PS:Time will show me every single thing.
I will also choose the path i wan carefully.
=)

机会，奇迹？

2010-04-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

In our life, we might miss out some things.
We might regrets some decisions we've made.
We might also tend to take things for granted.
But, no matter what, the time will still move.
No choice, but to look forward.

奇迹。
这世上真的有奇迹吗？
不需要任何回答，因为祖会告诉我。
我需要的可能是机会和时机。
顺其自然吧。

I believe that God's have already plan it.
=)
Recently I've been practicing I/V Therapy Phrase Test.
Per week can have up to 10 hrs or practical.
Gosh!
But this Sat is our test. Nervous!
Nevertheless, I will do my best to score well.
Not to allow any careless mistake.
Need to build up my confidence & God's will handle e rest. =)
JR0904C peeps, do your best & perform.
Everything will be fine ! All the best, we will obtain 100% pass!
Off to bed, nights !

Ps:Grant me my wish,God.

2010-04-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

Recently this few days, I've been bit stress & unhappy.
Anyway, everything is fine after critical & logical thinking.
Thanks all my friends who talk to me & gives me advices. =)
Shall pray & talk to God..
Because I always believe that he will give me a way out.
He will guide me through all this.
I/V therapy phrase test this coming Saturday.
Need to memories steps, what to collect & what to say.
Aim to score well !

Test all coming up, projects need to be completed
within this 7 weeks also.
Time is so pack, not even a single hour can be wasted.
Alrights, gonna go study a bit already!
Nights!

Ps: Let natural take its course.
There's nothing I can do about it.
Will try time to time, but will also leave in God's hands.
Nevertheless, u'ralwaysonmymind.

2010-04-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

Off to town with Sr & Yh today. =)
As usual, only the three of us but nevertheless we have fun !
It have been a while since we meet up.

Off back home after eating & walking around Orchard.
Leg pain & bleed when I wear e new shoes. =(
Tomorrow is a new start of the week.
Tiring tiring !

Sometimes, we are not able to choose.
But, nevertheless we should do our best.
Live on our best & work hard for the best.
We can't choose but we can choose to work hard &
change our lives.
PS: Flashback.

2010-04-17T09:57:00.001-07:00

7 weeks of school is really hectic.
Squeezing all the test & exams together.
One by one, next to each other.
Can't even take a breath during this 7 weeks.
Semester 2.1 more worse, 3 projects,2 phrase test
& plenty of tests & 2 big exams.
1 project & 1 phrase test cleared.
2nd phrase test on next Saturday. Wonder will I make it?
=)
Back to relax life, watch Date's Night today.
Funny, romantic movie & action movie.
Good for laughs.

GPA is really low, only 2.2 now.
Left last year to really improve.
But, how much can my GPA improve.
Hope I can proceed to NYP.
Need to work double hard this time.
Tomorrow going town with girlfriends. =D
Night night!

PS: Life is short, always treasure it no matter what hits you down.
Because it is never worth to end your life because of someone or things.
God's child should be strong, should be optimistic & cheerful.
Because he is always there to give you a helping hand whenever you need help.
There's no reason for you to go to him if you are not yet called by him.

2010-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Back from Hong Kong trip & school starts
immediately the next day. (12 April).
But, i'm sick so I didn't attend school on first day. =)
Really miss Hong Kong cool-cold weather.
Singapore is such a hot place. I wanna go back !

Anyway, school starts & this term is heavy.
Exams going to be tough too, need to work double hard.
Must pass & score well too.
If not CGH will come after me, sad. =(
Will update some photos next time.
It's late now. Gonna rest ! bye boo!

PS: By not making any choice is to leave my choice in God's hands.
Because I know he already plan everything for me.
There's nothing I can do much.
i need to be brave, need to stand up when I fall.
Need to think wise & be smart too.

Off to HK soon!

2010-04-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

Going off to Hong Kong in two days time. =)
Damn excited & happy but i will miss Singapore.
Will need to start packing my room & my clothes.
Need to seek my mother's permission if carene is coming
over to stay.
Tuesday is also my contract date.
Need to double confirm with my cousin & dad.
Scary, should i really sign it? half-hearten.

Will be going Hk for 5 days, so friends don't miss me too much.
LOL.
Maybe over there, i can tend to think what i really want.
Shall not lie to myself anymore.
Need to face the facts & past.
Good bye will blog more.

2010-03-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

Life is full of happiness & unhappiness.
But, no matter how you fall, we'll need to stand again.
We can only go forward but now backwards.
Like my friends said, I cannot change what my parents have choose,
but I can live the life I want to.
When i'm young, I always look upon to my dad.
Because he is a good husband, a almost perfect daddy.
But now, he is just a completely change person. =)

Nevertheless, it's fine.
I've sort things out in my mind.
No matter what, he is still my daddy.
When the family changes, it's not only his fault.
But, everyone plays a part in it.
Now, studies matters the most for me.
Finish my 2 yrs course, score well & serve my 2 yrs bond in CGH.
If can proceed to poly & finish 3 yrs course.

No time to think, time will never wait for you.
Time will never stop because you are down or sad.
It will just continue to move.
One cannot change the past but one can change the future.
So, there's no point holding on to the past.

Off to pack my room & head out later! =D
Holidays is the best.
Nevertheless, i still miss ward 38. =/
Bye-bi !

Ps: I believe that time will heal all the wounds in my heart,
I believe that God's will send my guardian angel to me,
I also believe that someone will love me truthfully.
Because God's is not gonna make me cry all the time.

Holidays mood.

2010-03-30T04:04:00.000-07:00

Today is the end of my replacement!
Everything gone on very well up till now.
Tomorrow shall wake up early in the morning to hand in
my sponsorship stuffs to the office. =)
2 years of bond, really need to think once more.

Tomorrow going facial with mother.
Actually want to do french medicure but shall see the price first.
After all less than 2 weeks I will need to remove it.
School is starting soon, hope everything goes on well.
Modules will be heavy this term & shall put in double efforts.
Can't afford to do badly. =(
IV therapy & Geron tests to pass & score well.
Need to make plans till next week before I go Hong Kong.
Gd bye.

PS: Think before you decide your choice. i miss you.

真相，真实，假相。

2010-03-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

I'm a happy girl today YET also unhappy due to some reasons.
Let's start with the happy stuff first;
-Spend $30 on games to get the soft toy(Ronald Duck),
in the end never get it.
But nevertheless, i enjoy the whole process with you.
-Today he let me drive his dad's 7 seater Auto car.
Though I feel so dumb because i'm slow but nevertheless
I manage to drive short distance!
Thanks him for giving me experience so i'm bit prepared for
practical test next time. =)
-My replacements left with 2 more days!

Alrights, now the unhappy stuffs;
-Nearly quarrelled with daddy about my sponsorship,
but in the end it's settle peacefully.
-My hair is damn sucky now,need to do something by June.
-Something prop up early in the morning which spoilt my mood.

Fine, enough of my rantings.
I believe that everything bad will go off someday. =)
Tomorrow will be a better day.
It's 7.45a.m now.
Meeting Sr & Yh at 12.20. (OMG>_<)
Left only 3 hours of sleep. fcuk shit.
Good nights everyone.
Shopping tomorrow!

SHOPPING. . .

2010-03-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sudden got a long long list of shopping list to buy.
Should I save or buy?
Spend quite a lot today on school stuffs & school pants.
Long list to go;
1) White Adidas watch which I can't find. =(
2)Cute Keyboard & Mouse for computer.
3)A mini fan for my net book.
4)Blackberry Bold(white in colour) OR i phone white.
5)Plenty of new clothes.

Just like this for now. =D
Been accepted by CGH.
2 years of bond will start once I clear my medical test.
Blood taking is nasty but i overcome it! woo!

PS:Thanks for being there for me, nevertheless...
i need time. so sorry.
i don't wish to rush into r/s when i don't & unsure of my feelings.
Glad u understand.

CONFUSION.

2010-03-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

Confuse,confuse & still confuse.
Maybe time is all i need.
But to a certain point of time, i will need to make a choice.
Between both.
It will be a hard decision, but i will have to do it.
If the time comes, i will tell you both.
=)

3 days replacement cleared, 5 more days to go.
Wee, i can see my hong kong trip getting nearer & nearer!
Loves. Another extra $100 from my mother! wooo!

不在预料之中。

2010-03-22T07:05:00.000-07:00

Life is unpredictable, happening & full of thrills.
My life have been lots of ups & downs,
but after so much, i know what makes me smile.
Giving people a helping hand, a listening ear & smile
makes me contented.
No one can predict what is going to happen tomorrow,
One can only live to the fullest every single day.

Grown up to know that nobody can control your emotions,
Only yourself can decide you want to be negative or positive.
For now, i choose to be positive.
Nursing make me learn a lot.
Makes me treasure life & understand lot more.
=)
As for myself, I need time for lots of things.
To really stand up & give my best again for certain things.
Close friends will know what i'm referring to.

7 more days replacement, =D
God, please let the time pass faster.
Off to sleep.

SUFFOCATING INSIDE!

2010-03-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Wore track pants & PE t shirt to school today.
School today is tiring & breathless for us.
2 hrs of PC(a) lesson & 10-5 is BCLS lesson.
Which is to practice CPR & to achieve a standard.
The steps look so easy but when we do it, damn tiring.

Practice 2-3 times before we can really do it well. =)
Feel like giving up at first but wasted to do so.
After all, it was once my dream being a paramedic assistant.
End class at 5pm after dragging here & there.
Omg, waste of time ok.
Worse is after doing CPR, my left hand is swollen.
Pain! , hope it get better tomorrow !

Tomorrow is my CGH interview.
Hope I will do well & nothing goes wrong.
& hope they call me up asap & then blood test. =p
Process faster,but before that I must think seriously.
God will be there for me! I will need to believe in myself.

Alrights, off to sleep.
Need to be energize tomorrow.

Disappointment.

2010-03-15T04:20:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, i miss those times when you used to nag at me,
when whole family sit down & have dinner together,
when you always stay at home,
when we will play majiong together for free time,
when i will not be wondering where you go.

But, everything have change.
Non of it applies anymore.
你不在关心我和这个家了吧，
不知道这么问你了，
不知道这么和你说了。
什么都不说会比较好吧。

Ps: Who will still cares & know how i feel?
Who will still understand what i want & need?
When i'm sick who can i turn to in the night?
Felt so sick n tired of this house.
But what can i do?

快乐，信心，幸福。

2010-03-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Another one more week of school before holidays.
For me, another 8 more days of replacement
before everything ends. =)
NO more MC, tired of replacement.
Main computer down, got to fix it asap.
$110 for service & replacement parts.
Hope CGH by next week will call me up for interview.

School module is getting harder,need to buck up already.
Recently, health is not very good.
Lucky that my cough & flu is getting better day by day.
Need to relax myself because there's just too much stuffs inside.
Maybe a swimming or a run is good enough for me.

As for her, i do not know what to say & how should i ask anymore.
In the past, i will always know how to handle & know how to question.
But now, i do not know why. . .
I'm getting more & more disappointed.
Just like how i get disappointed in him since years ago.
刚开始，我以为你只是心情不好，晚回家。
这些我都能谅解，可是现在的你呢？
不但没回家，连我一个星期见到你几次，我都不知道了。
回到这个空荡荡的家，让我以今习惯了。
你也越来越像他了。
在你们的心里，到底还有没有这个家？
也许离开，逃避，我会比较开心吧。。
Don't understand, don't wish to understand anymore.

Bye-bi.

INSULIN

2010-03-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

Subcutaneous Insulin test tomorrow !
woo!, wish me good luck ! =)
Practice less than 10 times & now is my phrase test.
Hope & pray hard that I can score well.
Most importantly, don't fail.
JR0904, Good luck to everyone especially C class.
Nights!

静心。

2010-03-09T02:45:00.000-08:00

Didn't went to school today because I have bad cough & flu.
Long time never sick till so bad already.
Doctor said it's throat infection, not that bad ah. =/
Need plenty of water & rest i guess.
Need to recover b4 Friday, having insulin phrase test this Friday.
Need one or two more practice before I can score well. =)

Once i recover, gonna go exercise & finish up my 8 days
of attachments.
New resolutions for my year 2010;
1) Working hard & get good results for 2.1 & 2.2.
2) No more MCs like year 1.
3) Take good care of myself so i won't fall sick.
Hope I will recover fast fast ! woo!

Countdown to April 7th 2010. =)
Around 1 more month to my Hong Kong trip !
Loves.

2010-03-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

Out with mum today & i brought 2 bags today
& some stationary for school tomorrow.
School is starting tomorrow yet i'm still down with
cough & flu. =(
Schedule will be very pack once my school really re-opens.
Every Monday 8pm, I need to go church,
School will properly end at 6pm.
It's gonna be very rush.
Omg, i don't like year 2.
But, i have my way to cope with stress already. =)
Happy to know that yesterday.
Bye-bi everyone !

NO TITLE

2010-03-05T08:35:00.000-08:00

Disappointed in myself . . .
This few days I've been thinking of quitting nursing,
but on the other hand it's wrong.
This course is what i choose myself,
Nobody force me, nobody give a comment on this.
Mother supported me even though relatives don't think I
can do it.
But, me myself keep on giving up on it.
Didn't go my best, no motivation at all.
But, after all I know this is what i choose.
So i ought to do well.
Ought to prove to them I can do it.
School starting on Monday, tomorrow last time of attachment for now.
Hope April faster come so my attachment will all be fulfill.
=)

"Wonder why those memories will flashback in my mind. ."
I still remember those times we will try to meet no matter how pack
our schedule is. .
Still remember that you will come & fetch me during ur off day,
Still remember the surprises you give me again & again,
that never fail to make me smile.
Will never forget how we use to cuddle each other tightly.
Will always remember that you will come all the way down to
tampines when I'm sick just to bring me food.
Will never forget all our memories & keep them inside. =)

Ps:就像每段爱总会有终点.

思念。。。

2010-03-04T06:51:00.000-08:00

Feeling so sick this few days.
Don't know why my flu & cough is not getting any better
But worse. .
Everything is bad this few days.
Feeling so moody nowadays.
突然好想你。。
可是你不在。。

HONGKONG!

2010-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

Good news & Bad news to myself..
Bad news is tomorrow I'm going to see section head myself.
Hope nothing happens.
Good news is, I'm going to Hong Kong!!!
5 Days 4 Nights. Confirm! woos!
April faster come, i can't wait to go.

Gonna sleep already.

2010-02-27T06:16:00.000-08:00

Didn't go for replacement today, receive an unhappy news.
Teacher told me that he is going to refer me to section head.
Monday I'm gonna see section head.
Wonder what she will says.
Hope everything goes well, if not maybe i will have to leave Nursing.
Sick today, fever coming up, having bad cough & flu.
Gonna rest more. !
This two days gonna adjust all my feelings b4 i go work.

如果你爱我，你会来找我，因为你会知道我快不行了。
如果你爱我，你会来找我，因为你会知道我快倒下了。
可是你没来，你狠下心不来。
我明白，我了解。。
可是，今晚我还是很想你。
你有爱过我吗？

2010-02-26T21:02:00.000-08:00

当我选择相信，当我选择走下去的时候，
你却要我做选择。。
或为我做了选择。。
没有承诺，没有怨恨的爱，
是最幸福的。

没有人会知道下一秒会发生什么事，
所以，珍惜现在是最重要的。

2010-02-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

No promises, no sweet honey words.
Only present love & choice.
爱一个人，不一定要拥有他。
重要的是现在，不是从前。
自由自再的爱，是我们想要的吗？

TRUST,FAITH

2010-02-23T01:39:00.000-08:00

Fever suddenly strike me yesterday when i went back
to school for SIM training.
Rise up to 38.3 but went down today.
Hate medicine but no choice but to eat.
Shall not think too much or else I will be sick again.
Should i join YOG programme?
Gonna be 2.1, i'm afraid that i cannot handle all those stress.

Been so busy this whole week,so tiring.
Recently think a lot & get through a lot.
To understand a person is not as easy as i think.
How many times must i understand someone over & over again?
How many times must i THINK that he is the right one?
Getting tired of all things.
Ought to think what i really want.
=)
Because, life is short & i don't wish to waste it anymore.
2.1 is starting, school work will be tough,
attachments will be more tough.
Everything will not be so easy anymore.
No mistake will be forgiven anymore.

Gonna work hard, not to fall sick anymore!

2010-02-17T09:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, what you see might not be true,
what you hear might not be real,
what you feel might not be 100% accurate.
But,the feelings of your heart will never be fake,
sense it with you heart,
choose who you want to give your faith to.
For now, i choose you.
Maybe we might part someday but what we treasure is now.

Going off to Indonesia tomorrow evening for grandma's 49 days.
But, going to Indonesia is also a good thing for me,
because that's the only place i can put away every single thing
in my mind & just think carefully.
& finally i will need to make a choice.
Of whatever things I'm thinking.

This time going for either 3 days 2 nights or 4 days 3 nights.
Baby, don't miss me too much ya? =)
But, i will miss you.
Nevertheless, i will still text ya.
Thanks for helping out with my mummy birthday today.
loves.

Next week will be a challenging week for me.
Within this one week, need to complete Rehab assignment,
case study, journal writing, at least 42 skills & SIM training.
Omg omg, that's like quite a lot of work to be done.
Need to really buck up & go go go ! =)
I can do it !

PS:No matter where am i, i will miss you.
No matter where am i, my heart will still be there.

CNY,V.Day,Happy 1st Month.

2010-02-15T00:36:00.000-08:00

This New Year is not very happening like last time anymore,
Just feel so.
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day & Happy 1st Month.
Went to two relatives house & went home yesterday.
Meet baby at night for celebration.
Watched Valentine's Day at night.
Oh my god, the movie is totally bored.
Never ever go and watch the show, it's just bored me to death.
Nearly fall asleep yesterday.

Baby gave me a surprise for our 1st month & V.Day.
Baby book a room in a hotel for our celebration. =)
Decorated it also & after that we head to movie.
Was shocked & also happy.
But, the room is super cold. >_<
But baby cannot stop nagging & nagging.
Never mind, still love him. LOL.
Anyway, thanks for everything.

Before heading out with mum.

The room, =) small but I like.

The wine baby brought.
The part i like most. hehe

Loves Loves.

so zi lian.

Random shot.

Blur but I love it.
Ps: Maybe love need time to be sure and need space to grow,
the more you want to grab it, the more it will not grow.
The way to have love is to give love. =)
Time will prove everything, both of us need time.
Thanks for everything, loves.

CNY EVE.

2010-02-13T02:47:00.000-08:00

Today is Chinese New Year Eve.
Everyone going home early for their reunion dinner.
As for me, staying at home packing my room & house.
There's no reunion for me since secondary school.
That's why I dislike New Year Eve.
Because for me it's just plainly staying at home.
Either alone or with my mother.

But nevertheless, i look forward to CNY.
Because i get red packets ! LOL.
Plenty of snacks to eat.
=)
Hope tomorrow will be a fun day.
Off to pack room already ! wooo !