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▸ Acceptance Stage. ... ♬
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
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In school, I learnt about the topic death. In hospital, I see how patients just pass away. And now, I'm experiencing it myself. Everything is not right, my Grandma is feeling sick. Suffering from stomach cancer. The cancer cells that spread is making her suffer. In school, learnt everything about diseases. About death, impending ones, imminent ones.But the feeling is different when I am the ones experiencing it. I don't know what to react,Tears do not roll down as easy as I think. My heart feels heavy, very heavy. Surrounding me were a bunch of relatives & love onescrying and pulling a long face. I don't want to be the one showing sadness in front of my Grandma, I want to be the one smiling. But, I can't. I'm sorry that my mood might be haywire nowadays. I can't control myself. I just want to be alone and relax. Though i have accepted it that nothing can be change. But,I still feel so . . . Sighs. Nothing to comment about . God please bless her, don't take her away. Make her well with your miracle hands, Reduce her sufferings,Make her well. Even if cannot, make her painless. Bless her! --------------------------------------------------------
As for my 7 weeks in school, I can say I'm doing ratherwell. Among all the three class test, I score A among two & a high Bfor class test one. Exams is up next Monday & Tuesday. I need to overcome the problems i have in my heart & score well.I will not disappoint my Grandma. =) Ps:As for baby, I shall say I'm sorry. Hope you really understand me. I'm feeling lousy inside. Sorry. I love you.